King Natsu Redone
by xinbra
Summary: A take of Treehouse of Horror III, Lucy Heartfilia is hired to be bait for the prehistoric ape King Natsu. Like the 1933 movie it's a beauty and the beast tale.


Cast of characters

Natsu Dragneel as Homer

Lucy Heartfilia as Marge

Makarov Dreyer as Mr. Burns

Laxus Dreyer as Waylon Smithers

Gray Fullbuster as Lenny

Gajeel Redfox as Carl

Romeo Conbolt as Charlie

Elfman Strauss as Otto

Happy as Barney

Jason as Dave Shutton

Mirajane Strauss as Pilot 1

Erza Scarlet as Pilot 2

It was a dark and foggy evening a young woman with blonde approaches two men; one being a short elderly old man and the other being tall and musculiar man with blonde hair and a lightning shaped scar over his left eye.

"My name is Lucy Heartfilia and I'm here about your ad." Lucy looked at the paper reading what it says, "Blonde young woman wanted for mysterious expedition. Must like monkeys. Non-smoker preferred."

Makarov reaponded, "Well, you'd be welcomed to be a change of pace from the rest of these crude and uncouth sailors."

We switch to two sailors saying "Arr" to one another; and they repeat it until we switch back to Makarov and Laxus.

"What do you think, Laxus?" Makarov asked.

"I think women and sea men don't mix." Laxus said bored.

"We know what you think," Makarov said before he turned to Lucy. "Young lady, you're hired." Makarovgives off a sinister laugh, Lucy has a look of concern in her eyes as she wonders what she has gotten herself into. The next day in the middle of the sea, Lucy is sunbathing on the deck, as Gajeel, Gray, and Romeo are watching her from the smokestack.

"Hey I hear we're going to Ape Island," Gajeel said.

"Yeah, to capture a giant ape," Gray added. "I wish that we were going to Candy Apple Island instead."

"Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?" Romeo asked.

"Apes." Gajeel answered, "but not all big."

The ship made it to Ape Island, and the natives chanting "Natsu" over and over again. Elfman being the captain asked Makarov about Natsu.

"Whose this 'Natsu' guy? I bet that he's really manly if those guys are chanting his name!" Elfman flexed his muscles.

Makarov replies, "He's either a fifty foot prehistoric ape or a tourist trap set up by the Ape Island jaycees. Either way, we're going ashore."

Lucy walks up to them, "Am I going to?"

"Of course, we wouldn't want to go without the bait." Makarov starting stammering as he's now realizing what he said "That is the bait-thing beauty... The bathing beauty." Chuckles a little. "I've covered that up pretty well."

On the island, Makarov, Laxus, and Lucy are in the bushes spying on the Natives while they continue to chant Natsu and dance. The tribal chief notices the trio lerking in the bushes. "Try to remain inconspicucoius," Makarov told them.

"Mosi Tatupu! Mosi Tatupu!" the chief said the subtitle reads "That busty blonde chick will make a nice sacrifice."

"What's that he's saying?" Lucy questioned.

Makarov responded "Uh, well... he said that he wouldn't dream of sacrificing the blonde beauty."

"Well, at least they have an eye for beau-Oh!" Lucy's words were cut when the natives grabs her from behind. Lucy is dressed in sacrifical garments and her hands are tied between two pillars.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile on the island, Natsu is fighting a tyrannosaurus rexNatsu has the dnosaur in a headlock and just when he's about to finish it off he's distracted by the sound of the gong, wondering about what that was about he turns his head then the T. Rex bites his arm as soon as he loosens his grip.

 **Chomp**

 **"D'oh!"**

His cry is echoed throughout the island. A few minutes later, Natsu went to the gates as he investigates where the screams are coming from. Lucy looks upon the pink haired ape's face as it leers down at her from the treetops.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Laxus, this a golden opportunity," Makarov told Laxus, "If we get him alive we can put him on Broadway, dead and we can sell monkey stew to the army."

Natsu picks Lucy up and he giggles as he plays with with her hair. "Keep your hands to yourself, mister!" Natsu then sniffs her hair and gives off a seductive purr as he finds the smell to his liking; Lucy giggles at the ape's gesture. Makarov and his crew bust through the gates with guns and cannons!

"Now we don't want to kill him!" Makarov told the crew. "Shoot him around the groin and belly!"

Natsu gives an angry roar as the crew began firing at him, he places Lucy on the top of a near by tree. Gray fires his cannon at Natsu, causing him to grab Gray and put him in his mouth. Gray's upper body pops out of Natsu's mouth.

"Cut it out, Natsu! Come on! Quit eating me!" Gajeel fires his rifle and hits Gray in the arm. Ow! Nice shot, metal-head!"

Natsu sticks Gray back into his mouth and he chews and swallows him. A few seconds later, he let's out a loud burp. Makarov uncrates a box full of gas bombs and holds one of them, and prepares to throw it at Natsu.

"Alright, you big ape, get a snootful of this gas bomb."

Makarov throws it at Natsu only to miss and bump a giant lizard in the head, causing it to bounce back and land right at Makarov's feet. The lizard falls on his back. Makarov ends up getting a snootful himself. Natsu then grabs another sailor and eats him. Makarov is under the gas' effects as he sings his version of the strolling through the park song. Laxus grabs another gas bomb and throws it next to Natsu and the smoke takes effect as he falls asleep on his belly. Makarov and Laxus walk next to his head.

"Nice work, Laxus. When we get back, I'm giving you a raise,"In a blink of an eye Natsu swallows Laxus whole. Makarov stares at the sleeping primate wide-eyed for a moment. "Oh well."

Back in the Town of Magnolia Natsu is chained up while Natsu is chained up like the beast that he is. Natsu roars in rage as Lucy watches with sorrow. Reporters walks up to Makarov as he is now in a black tux and a top hat. Jason speaks up.

"What kind of show do you have for us, Mr. Dreyer?"

Makarov answered, "Well, the ape's going to stand around for three hours or so. Then we'll close the show with the ethnic comedy of Duggan and Dirschwitz."

 **"SENSATIONAL!"** Jason cherred with so much enthusiasm.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Makarov announced, "in his native land, he was a king. And now he stands before you in chains for your amusement!" The curtains pull up. "Presenting Natsu! The eighth wonder of the world!"

Happy stood up and pointed at the stage.

"Whoa! Look at the size of that platform!" Happy said.

Photographers along with Jason walk on stage and the take lots of pictures. The flashes of the cameras started to drive the beast mad. The pink haried ape roared with rage. Lucy walks next to Jason.

"I think you're making him angry," she pointed out.

"Come on, what's he gonna do?" Jason asked unafraid. "Run amok in downtown Magnolia?"

Jason would regret asking that as Natsu broke his restraints while the people were screaming in terror. Natsu stopped for a moment to scratch himself. The people started to run as Natsu broke the remaining restraints. Jason screamed as everyone ran before Natsu stomped on him.

Everyone except for Happy had ran off and offers him a fish. "Hey monkey, you want a fish?" Natsu grabbed the bag of fish and ate it. "I SAID ONE!" Happy started to kick his foot.; Natsu ignored him as he began to search for a certain blonde woman. Natsu breaks through the wall and then breaks through the other as he hears music being played. To be seen is a little girl singning "The Good Ship Lollipop" song. Natsu began briefly charmed by her singing.

[Little girl]

 _On the good ship lollipop._

 _Its a sweet trip to a candy shop_

 _Where bon-bons-_

Natsu then grabs the girl as she screams. He puts her in his mouth and chewed and swallowed her. Lucy and Makarov are in a hotel suite sitting on the couch. "I am dreading the reviews I can tell you that.

Lucy sees Natsu at the window, "Hi Natsu!" Lucy smiled as she waved at him. Natsu sticks his hand in though the window as he grabs Lucy. She began screaming and waving her arms as Natsu carries her. He begins to climb up as he sees that's going to be a hard one. Natsu gives off a groan. Four airplanes are seen flying around. Two female pilots, one with silver hair and the other with scarlet hair takes notice of Natsu's lack of effort.

"He's sure is taking his sweet time," Mirajane said.

"Better refuel," Erza said.

The planes take their leave as they are going to refuel; Natsu, still carring Lucy in his hand began sweating.

"You don't look so good. You should have eaten more vegetables and less people," Lucy said.

"Uh-huh," Natsu grunted. Natsu puts Lucy on a ledge as he takes his fall, but it was nowhere near halfway up. Natsu gives off a groan, Lucy places her hand on his face.

"He's not dead!" she said.

"No, but his career is," Makarov said. "remember when Bob danced on top of the chapel, and after that he couldn't get aressted in this town."

Natsu groans again as Makarov takes his leave. "Don't worry, Natsu," Lucy said to him. "I'll take care of you."

Many months had passed, as King Natsu and Lucy are to be married. Friends and families of both sides watching the two exchange thier vows. A monkey walks in and an usher greets him.

"Are you with the bride or groom?" the usher asked. The monkey ooks and raises his arm as he indicates that he is with the groom. "Right this way."

After the wedding, everyone gathers as the photographer is trying to take a picture, but there two apes cleaing each other. "Folks, if we can stop cleaning each other just for a second."

Lucy's mother Layla Heartfilia looks around the chapel looking for her husband, "Wait Lucy! I can't find your father!"

Jude's leg is seen from Natsu's mouth as he slurps it in; Natsu gives off a little burp, then he sheepishly looks at his bride, but Lucy just smiles. "Oh Natsu!"

The end.


End file.
